This is the old MAXIMISING HUMAN RESOURCES. Marla’s restructuring worked great, except for the placement of Hector’s bit about his school growing up. Also, I looked back at the initial interview and I just think it’s really awkward using that little clip of him at a desk when the rest of the engaging “conversation” between him, Joe and Francis, he’s in the garden. It just doesn’t gel. Nor does him talking about his bad school between all the great programs Joe is talking about. We KNOW that they’ve created something great and different and better than the bad schools in NY. Unless this is placed earlier, it drags down the clip. And I can’t figure out where it wants to live earlier in the clip. Maybe when hector is talking about the audacity of starting the school, but again, when it’s there, I feel like were taking out of this nice narrative. If it’s important, I’ll throw it in.
Other than this, I think this one is really strong.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
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2 comments:
I think this works really well and agree that there's no need to force those other bits. This is cohesive, clear, and compelling and it really captures the unique roots of this school. Beautiful!
Scott -
This is awesome!! Great job. Love it.
Tom
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