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This looks great. Here are a couple of suggestions based mostly upon picking up the pace since this is a perspectives piece:
Maybe start with Nick saying "we are beating the odds"
Then move to Marina saying "success is achieving your goals"
Then back to Nick and others, but break up quotes throughout at natural pauses or shifts in topic (I saw a couple of places in each quote where I think this might work)
At the end of the fast forward hallway sequence, end with the hallway "clear" to match Nick's words
Can you find a quote from Shannon that will work so that her perspective is also represented?
Students in Raymond's class discussed success...any pieces of this discussion that would work here?
I defer to Marla here. He seems to start mid sentence at the beginnng of the clip. If it can not be altered, can you start with the image of the school banner used at the end now to give the listener a second to focus.-rb
2 comments:
This looks great. Here are a couple of suggestions based mostly upon picking up the pace since this is a perspectives piece:
Maybe start with Nick saying "we are beating the odds"
Then move to Marina saying "success is achieving your goals"
Then back to Nick and others, but break up quotes throughout at natural pauses or shifts in topic (I saw a couple of places in each quote where I think this might work)
At the end of the fast forward hallway sequence, end with the hallway "clear" to match Nick's words
Can you find a quote from Shannon that will work so that her perspective is also represented?
Students in Raymond's class discussed success...any pieces of this discussion that would work here?
Let me know if you think these will work. Thanks!
I defer to Marla here. He seems to start mid sentence at the beginnng of the clip. If it can not be altered, can you start with the image of the school banner used at the end now to give the listener a second to focus.-rb
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